Starting Over.

In the last eight months I have had many changes in my life. I am thankful that I found a good job, but it is hours away from any friends and family. I am also going through a divorce which has hurt me deeply.

I also worry a lot about my parents emotional, physical, and financial wellbeing due to unfortunate circumstances that have occurred in their lives recently as well. When I am dealing with all these frustrations combined it is easy to feel overwhelmed. I would love a shoulder to cry on. (I must thank my cousin Jill for allowing me to vent to her over email. Even though we can't be together in person, her patience and support online has helped give me strength.)

Sometimes I feel very alone in the world and it seems that in those instances I remember that the dark cloud hovering over me always seems to lighten up when I go to church. Somehow, hearing the word of God and being around God's followers helps me to feel less frustrated or scared...and I even feel more protected in some way. I believe it must be an innate connection to my creator that causes me to seek him out or look for Christian support especially in difficult times.

Because of everything going on in my life and because I know there are huge holes in my religion I feel I must make a renewed effort to get to know God. I feel that having a solid spiritual foundation is the best way for me to start over at this time in my life.

I have tried different churches around Carlisle, but I haven't found any that really said to me "you belong here." Today I tried out a new church called Carlisle Bretheren in Christ. I had held off going there for months because I was scared of the word "Bretheren" in the name. A co-worker of mine who had gone to the church said that the name doesn't imply any specific religion and that it is really non-denominational.

She felt strong that I would like it and that it may just be the church I have been searching for. She knew from past conversations that I have a hard time finding a church where I feel comfortable; I have certain requirements I look for (even though I don't think you are supposed to be quite as picky as I).

So I went and although I am not going to say that I was onehundred-percent comfortable, because I am always nervous around a large group of people I don't know...it was as close to comfortable as I believe I am going to come for a first visit. And although, I am usually a very traditional person, I felt the urge to join the contemporary group in the auditorium; it had a very friendly and inviting atmosphere.

The room was comprised of stadium seating, to which almost every seat in the house had someone occupying it... and all seemingly happy to be there. There was a band mixed with guitars, drums, a viola, a violin, and three singers leading the congregation in song, and three big screens so the people in the top rows could see them better. I also like the mix of dim lighting with lit candles along the edges of the stage creating a beautiful atmosphere to receive Gods word. Curiosity won me over.

I found my seat between two familes who were very inviting and as I took my seat I realized that the speakers were not raised so loud that they caused my ears to ring like in so many other places; the volume was just right. It also didn't hurt that both the band and congregation were on key to boot. But I would have to say that the biggest plus of all was the fact that the pastor was extremely well spoken and I "got" the message.

The pastor created in me a longing to know more and I didn't even notice how much time had past until he asked us to bow our heads in prayer. This is my single biggest requirement in my search for a church...to keep my attention and do it in a way that allows me to easily "get" the message. I actually enjoyed myself.

I also feel that this church is a good place for meeting other people around my age. Chances are that I'll make some new friends here and/or join one of their many "group" offerings. There seems to be hope here.

In anycase - at the end of the Sermon the pastor mentioned some books that were available to all newcomers which help explain "what they believe" and "why they believe" the way they do. I picked up three. I just finished the first and shortest book with 94 pages by Andy Stanley called, "How Good is Good Enough?" Essentially he makes us realize that it is not how good or bad you are that gets you into heaven. It is accepting Jesus as your savior and accepting forgiveness for your sins through his sacrifice that gets you into heaven.

It is a basic message every Christian should understand, however, I feel that it is very relevant to my current situation. This was impeccably good timing and I can't help but believe that this is yet another example of divine intervention. God always seems to be there for me when I need him. Thank you Lord.

I am confident I am starting my new life right and I finally feel a positive outcome is waiting for me. I look forward to going back to the Carlisle Bretheren Church next week.